Little Things....

So, one of my goals for the last little while is to really just chill out and enjoy it..even the little things.  Most of you know that we really have a hard time getting pregnant.  I talk about it casually and super informally so it's not weird or egg-shells for others, but only my closest family and friends have really seen the real parts, the hard parts. Reagan took us 13 months, Hunter took 16 months and right now we are at 18 months. Each time you think it's going to be faster and easier (AND CHEAPER!!!) because we know what's wrong and how to fix it, but that hasn't been the case.  It's impossible not to get your hopes up and complete devastation every month. My religion is my everything and has made me who I am, but holy cow it's hard to be LDS and infertile!!! And to live in Utah is just over the top! The constant questions are pretty heartbreaking(just two kids?? shock and awe)..even from friends and family. I try not to get upset with these though since I'm the queen of putting my foot in my mouth and I'm sure I'd ask too if this wasn't my trial. Needless to say, this is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through and I've had some doozies for sure. Back to the point, a few months ago I had a major come-apart (like #152 and counting...) and realized that I was going to work on being happy and in the moment with the kids I do have and not so sad about the ones I don't.  Don't get me wrong...I appreciate my kids so much.  I worked too damn hard for them to not! And they cost me a fortune---especially Hunter! He will take over his NICU payment when he's 18.  Ha ha, just kidding....but not really!  So that's been a big goal....just living in the moment with my kids and not be a crazy lady randomly crying in public 24/7!!!

Playing softball at the park. Really hoping Reag will play one day!

So cute!

Pretty much Reag just bosses Hunter around and dresses him up.  They are both past Halloween costumes.

Do I have a boy or what?!

Well, maybe not! He was pretending to paint his nails with a wet q-tip so Reag decided to help.

Ok, the last week or so Hunter has been sleeping in "Ava's bed". We leave this playyard up in the guest room and he has just taken it over.  He's put a ton of things in there.  At this point, there's so much more that he can hardly fit! He literally dives into it from the bed.  It's pretty funny and so wrong on many levels!

This one is just funny and gross.  I walked into the kitchen and he was sitting on the table----totally naked and not caring!!! K, he never sits on the table! Sadly, he is naked most of the time, but at least has undies on. I kinda just laughed and grabbed the camera.  I did clean it, PS!

This was a perfect moment.  I was laying on the couch reading (yay!!!) and looked up and caught this lazy moment.  Rarely are we all just chill--no cleaning, cooking, talking, fighting, etc! Pure bliss. Pretty sure it ended about 10 minutes later! :)